12. But it SMELLS like food.
11. The cat did it.
10. What say we all drive down to Dairy Queen?
9. Explain this 'heat' thing again.
8. Mind if I sit there?
7. You gonna eat ALL of that?
6. I don't smell anything.
5. Could I see the menu?
4. FETCH THIS!
3. Next time, I pick the bitch!
2. This isn't a mess, it's ambience!
And the number one thing your dog would say:1. You are going to cut off my WHAT??!!
By kind permission of Walt Zientek (© 1996) and Caleb